i never realize how much i swear until i’m in a situation where i can’t
My parents aren’t home
You know what that means
*sits in the living room instead of sealing myself away in my room*
this is too accurate
*parents close the door*, *emerges slowly from room like an easily startled deer*
*Parents come home* *scurries back to room like frightened squirrel*
if i was famous id probably just ask my fans to buy me food when im hungry
When u feel really hot but look terrible in all your selfies
passive aggressive family members
"guess i’ll never be a grandma"
"guess i’ll never be an aunt"
"guess i’ll never be able to dress a niece/nephew"
stop feeling so entitled to my hypothetical offspring. it is not yours. it is mine. i will grow it if i grow it. and it will be mine. not yours. i am not an incubator which grants you familial titles. jesus. go away. this “have a baby i can play with” thing is so impersonal and insensitive and annoying.
marilyn manson could literally make an album of him saying the alphabet for 40 minuets and id buy three copies